2017

I came across my blog for no apparent reason, maybe just to take a peek or re-read the things I've posted. 2 years. It has been 2 years since my last post yet believe me, I have a lot which means a lot of drafts in this blog which I haven't published yet. Why? because whenever I write or share something I always stop midway. Thinking of the right words that I should or need to say or running out of words to say. But here I am, writing this entry and feeling hopeful that I could finish this.

2 years has passed and many things changed. For me, I became a better version of myself in terms of my outlook in life. I became more carefree ( i don't know if that's a positive but for me, yes, because my glass is always half full) and I like think that the challenges that I faced is just a test that I could finish and ace. I also realized that things happen and they serve as a reminder that it isn't the end yet. That you are bound to discover and learn. For this things really happen and it makes you stronger as a person.

To end this post and whoever reads this entry, all I can say is live. For that is what 2017 has taught me. No matter how shitty  your life is, Live, not for anyone else but for you.

P.S a term ender post, Happy New Year!

Adios, Disparo Estrella.

I promised myself that this post will be the last time I will be talking about you.

It took me awhile to think and reminisce everything.

Now, I think that I'm okay, well at least right?

I'm okay. I'm going to be okay today or maybe soon, I don't know but I will be.
Sorry, I just feel I'm going to explode any minute if I don' type what I feel. But please do not pity me.
I don't have the courage to tell it to everyone. All I do is tell them that it didn't bother me yet honestly it does. All the time.

Now, I wan this to end. I'm going to let everything slip off my hands
because I thought you were my star, But I'm afraid that you're just a shooting star who came across the starry night.

I'm putting my feelings and heartaches inside the jars and sealing it. Hopefully, no one would attempt to break it because I don't want to feel it again but I hope someday, someone would open a new jar for me and fill it with contentment and happiness.

To you, thank you for everything. Thank you for the joy, the butterflies, the laughs and the endless banats we shared. I'll miss everything about you but I think it's time to let it fade.

Iodine Lutetium Vanadium Europium. 

Goodbye. 

3/3

A track title

Maybe I'm still into you. 

Maybe I feel empty because you've got something that belongs to me.

And you forgot to give it back.

Now, all I feel is sadness yet I always hide them behind my smile.

I don't want to look like a mess nor look like shit.

I always look at the positive side, now I'm having a hard time. I force and convince my self that I should move forward but how about those memories? It keeps on hunting me every night. I can't see the things I used to see because every piece of it  reminds me of you.  

Don't worry I'm not blaming you, you are free from the guilt and now please be happy. I'm blaming myself for caring too much and saying that everything is okay when it's not.

Curse the feeling i'm feeling right now. Damn it.

2/3

1:14

It's 1:14 am and let me do some poetry.

This thoughts of mine,

bugs me all the damn time.

What ifs corrupted my mind

now I can't sleep all the time.

This feeling that your about to mess my entire life happened.

It sucks bigtime whenever I care for you still, I miss you so bad. 

How do feelings fade? To be honest I can't find someone better than you. There's something in you that I'll always crave for, your attention maybe? 

Do you miss me? because I do. I still do. Damn.

1/3 

The Comeback

Hello, basically this post was supposed to be my year end post but as long as I remember, I haven't posted anything in this blog or whatever haha. ( did I just used *haha* sorry! ) This year became my most stressful year- blame school and activities that made me so tired to pick my laptop up and  type an entry event though I had so many things to share yet I cannot put them into words. So as for my comeback (heck yeah) I've decided to be more active in this field hence I cannot promise that I can type an entry every month but I'll try to add some entries as soon as possible.

As for the *utang posts* here are some of my nostalgic yet great memories I've experienced this 2014 :

• Finding myself as a 'Senior' student made me so emotional because it's my last year  as a highschool student. Twas tiring being in 4th year yet I became sentimental, treasuring every moment I had with my section, enjoying my subjects even though Physics, Calculus and Trigonometry was hella hard, Having a good circle of  friends that is for keeps ( hello YF and 5ever!).
• Having my early birthday, Christmas and graduation gift all in one! because my mom and dad decided to let me watch OTRAT Manila this coming March 21 ( I'm going to see my boys + my inner directioner feels ) and seeing my favourite band for the second time, The Script! It made me so inspired to do good in school because that is the easiest way to repay my parents??
• Driving sesh with my dad.
• Knowing that my favourite ice cream brand franchised here in Philippines (BOOYAH)
• Last December 10, 2014. Hello Gangster haha. 
• Our last academy day + me being ghost in our booth. It was a superb experience for me though, seeing my schoolmates and their scared expressions are priceless. 
• Christmas 2014
• My dog giving birth to 4 puppies! (6th picture)

As for the pictures above, I decided to share them because they're my favorite shots I took all through out the year and lastly, before I end this post. We'll be seeing each other soon. Happy New Year Everyone! 

Rastal Cat

Yesterday, I've got the guts to  a shoot. Yes, I am a socially awkward person when it comes to this stuffs but well maybe I need to step out of my comfort zone and try new things. As I have my DSLR and a tripod my first shoot became successful yet I struggle at what "poses" should I do and to set my camera and tripod up. It was insanely tiring and believe it or not I was sweating bullets because of the freaking weather. 

For my outfit, It was inspired by different people I (stalk) see on lookbook or in other social media sites. I was wearing a dress and the polka dots socks form Forever 21; an old polo from Ralph Lauren and Doc Martens ( the comfiest shoes ugh )

Bucketlist no. 14

I was really amused by Juan Luna, one of his famous masterpiece was the "Spolarium" it  was incredibly enormous. I found myself staring at it for 20 minutes? observing the way he painted it and the facial expressions of the characters in the painting, the contrast of the light and dark colors which complemented the while painting and thingking that it was part of our history.

I am pretending to be a tourist excuse you.

Bucket list no. 14 : Going to the National Museum of the Philippines

Well, my bucketlist no. 14 was recently checked yey! I'm that kind of human being where I find museums and art galleries amusing. Kind of weird eh? but yeah I find that enjoying. It was part of my birthday wishlist. Every year I have this tradition where I should make my birthdays memorable or "Not-so-ordinary" or should I say peculiar birthday. I do weird stuffs and of course fun, like last year I celebrated my birthday with the dolphins! 

I was really amused by Juan Luna, one of his famous masterpiece was the "Spolarium" it  was incredibly enormous. I found myself staring at it for 20 minutes? observing the way he painted it and the facial expressions of the characters in the painting, the contrast of the light and dark colors which complemented the while painting and thingking that it was part of our history.

To sum up all the experiences, it was amazing Period.

outfit 

(  jumper : Forever 21 - white shirt - shoes : Toms )